10th August

Dear blog,

i haven't been sleeping well..thus 2 more pimples appeared..not the kind where u can show who's the boss if u mind craters on your face..*plsplspls let it disappear*..

other than that..
i think i'm still on the way of finding my fit in this world..but i've been much further in this journey than i anticipated..guess it's a good thing :)
i've been stretching myself or being stretched..my mind in particular..to listen and to feel about things..
sometimes its hard because things that people tell you, you may not agree, or its just hard facts about these people that you might not want to know about because it tarnish the image of the people involved..
but the world needs more love to go around..more peace..and hope..or just a listener who cared enough to stop and stoop down, and just listen..

with the little that i have..i've decided to share..as much as i can give..as far as i can reach..listen to the hearts of people..to their deepest cry, their deepest sorrow..but also their wildest dreams and sweetest memories..know what makes people laugh..but also what makes them shed tears..

hopefully u will feel it too..that someone cares..:)..glad that you have choose me to share things with..

lotsa love from the bottom of my heart
*ends*

burden..

have God even laid a burden in your heart that makes you so compelled to act or intervene?

a burden about someone?somethings? that doesnt seem right, that needs attention?

some of the things can potentially able to make a fool out of you, to be emotionally involved, to say the hard things, to make the tough move or to even sacrifice yourself..

this is evident in church when people are asked to pray, to volunteer, to do something, to talk to the people problems or even shaking hands with the new comers..they wouldn't do it..not that they could not, they would not..familiar no?

most of the times when people are faced with such a situation, they will choose to ignore, it isnt their problem, they should not go all the way out and then not get appreaciated for things they did, they say, they point out, they intervene..

but IF your heart beats the heart beat of God, you will know things need to be changed, when it's time to act, we move in and fill the gaps..WHO ever talks about being appreaciated?WHO ever needs to talk about the rewards?WHO ever tell you the tough things you do in life will be recognise?

let's look at Martin Luther King Jr..was he appreaciated, rewarded, recognised?when he first started the revolutionary move, he wasn't AT ALL..he made people (esp certain people group)uneased of the changes he prospose..but he had a DREAM..and he moved on..he heard the voice of God and he obeyed..he was getting his worldly recognition towards the end of his life but he threw it all away..saying that it's worthless for him..his eyes is fixed upon God and the things of God..and he was assassinated in the end..

but he made a difference by choosing the path less taken..he chose to do the things of God..and he is getting rewarded by God Himself, appreaciated by God for being faithful and fruitful..recognised for his effort on earth in heaven..a true recognition indeed..

I have been so compelled to do things these days that i'm loosing my sleep, i can lay awake and think of many things at one time..scenarios over scenarios, people over people, incident over incident..things arent too pretty..

sometimes i wondered to God why is He showing me what i can do or should be doing..but it's only obvious, i am called to act..not that i am the Only one to act but i am called..God could have choosen dozen other people to do it..its a priviledge that exist only in time such as this..when it's passed, it will not come around the second time..

but when you are involved in it, you will feel like the planets aligned itself for time such as this that you are there and you did the right thing..your whole meaning existence at that time is to be there and do just that..you are in the will of God..it is an amazing feeling and awesome thoughts..

therefore..i pray..for the right time, the right words, the right people..i pray for God's pressence, wisdom and guidance..

i pray..

(ends)

another post again :)

Dear Pimples,

i thought you have chosen another face over mine.. i have never been happier without you..
for years, i thought i could forgot how much you've hurt me, invested my face and shame me in front of my kawans..
i tought the worst was over when i entered my 20's..when my face finally am clear of you..showing no signs of you except a few renegade pimples occasionally came but my face didn't welcome them and they left quickly..
besides from a few minor scars which i will be sure to get rid of in the future, i never knew you would make a come back..n such a bloody come back u've made..

even since that stinkin PC fair and me start working, you have made your way up my face..infesting it with puss and scars that never heal..
i tried to sleep you off, apply gels and creams and whatnots..
i knew i lack exercise, to sweat you off, so i'm less toxic..but i tried to fend you off, and get rid of you.. i sometimes blame the hormones..that went berserk because my new lifestyle..
but nothing i could have done to prepare me for this..
because your came, n this time, you stayed..
futhermore, you have invaded my forehead, a feat that happened for only a year back when i was 15...
such nightmare to have pimples on forehead...

ZOMG..

pimples-89127310923, me-0..

i nvr truly win agains you...but i will..SOON!!

chants to self *exercise exercise*

(ends)

mumbles mumbles

helo world..

i'll update summor about my life :)

1) i din sleep well yesterday.. :(..i think i was still awake at 2am..cos i slept at 6pm..cannot tahan lo :(..working isnt that easy..or rather sitting in front of table doing really busy/important stuff..anyhow..i got up at about 1:30am to eat banana..hungery..very.. :(

2) i kena for no reasons :(..
story is like this..it was 940am on tuesday when Pr Foo msg us telling us to update our follow up file..so since i was in front of computer and have IE opened, i just click it on my favourite bar, went in and complete my file within 2 minutes..
then hor..at leader's meeting on that night..Pr Foo remind me to update my attendace for follow up again, looking at his printed sheet..since i thought i already updated it (i was rarely late one lor!!)..i was a little confused but not wanting to make a scene, i just nod and answered..
then i was wondering y la kena call when i updated my file, so i went to check the printed spread sheet..mana tau got extra column there to state attendace!!..i was stunned abit..then sheepishly look around thinking that i'm being really delusional these days because extra column kept popping up AFTER i check my files :(..happened twice edi..
then i talk to people and found out the column was added at about 1015AM..AFTER i already updated my file 2 minutes after receiving the sms at about 945Am.......*speechless*..
zomg!!n there i was thinking my eyes went crooked or my brain wasnt working when i double checked the file AFTER filling in..mana tau..the pain of one so punctual...T.T..
ISH..dungu!!

3) this is my working schedule..
830am..reach office, set up laptop
830 to 1030..do invoicing and stock packing
1030 to 1230..stare at laptop and read things to entertain myself
1230 to 1..lunch
1pm to 6pm..stare at screens and do nothing..if possible, catch some sleep.. :)
haha..but after staring at screen for 4 weeks, cannot tahan edi..eye popping out lo..very tiring..sigh..how now?dun think i can read books in office :(..

4) i miss a friend..friend doesnt wanna reply me or forgot or watever..me sien with him..will slap him when i see him..u watch out u!

5) me quite emo these days..waiting for reply for companies is taking longer than i thought.. :(..sigh......

okok..thats all..hopefully can find something better to do during my office hour..mayb update my blog abit more often XD

EEends33

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

i've been thinking about you..

i guessed i should've updated you a little, so you dont sound so clueless and dull..

i guessed i should've learnt ways of making you a little fancier, or nicer, not as generic as it is right now with ready made background and un-updated list of friends..

for 3 months you have been abandoned but some curious souls tries to check you out in order to find out about me but it seems they are disappointed :(

i'm sorry me bloggie..but me just isnt that type of person who'd sit down and write and journal every part of my life..i do it once in a while where the mood is right but now..just..doesnt seems right..

me am sorry bloggie..

me send white roses to you..

*puts on natural tears*..*sniff*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
on the other note, i haven been updating isn't because there isnt things to update about..there's tons but as i said..me no mood..n i'm trying to cut down on complaining..so yea..me doing good job by disassociating myself with my complacent side :)

but for now..UPDATES!! *in me-language*

1) as per last post, yes me hav an apple iPhone :)
story:
me and me family went to eat the RM2 sushi as pyramid sushi king :)..then me complained about me phone (LG=longkang goods...it has been offing itself and the keypad has been crazy :(..so me need proper phone)..then me mom and me bro say lets go look at phones..then we end up at maxis and me got an iPhone =D
easy to understand? :)
erm..yea..cost a small bomb..but its for me graduation and 21st bday..so *big grin* thanks me mommy
hmm..so far Apple didn't disappoint me..when me work and earn a living meself, me can install even more chun application to make me iPhone cooler and better..now me only hav free applications cos me no own credit card :(..

2)me graduated
story:
graduation ceremony is next year..me collected me cert last week..me abit sad leaving HELP..*tiny bit*..well..time to move on right?? :)
yea..though now i do not think highly of HELP because of various complaints that i personally went through (regarding their programs)..but its still one big part of my life..
n..its ALL my uni friends that help made it bearable for even be there for 4 years :)..loves u's alls!!

3)me holiday
story:
me no holiday.. :S..me finish uni, me go daddy's office work..then me apply jobs, whilst waiting, me go daddy's office work..me no holidays :(..got la...one week (rest abit, go gym, watch anime..)..then kena pull back n work..without PAY!!blesphemy i tell u!!pro bono work :( SIEN! to max!

4) me jobs
story:
me apply KPMG for intern seeing me dunno whether me graduating yet..me got interview, in jeans and t-shirt, me go interview..(it was crazy okay..so last minute oni tell..me suppose to watch movie with kawan!)..me got the job, but me realized me graduated after me get me results..me wanted fulltime instead..but KPMG gave me funny reasons for not letting me have full time..me sad..me reject KPMG :)..
other than that..
me still looking for jobs..me havent got many positive reply..me gotta really fast n pray for good oppurtunity.. :)

5) me life
story:
me no life.
me no go gym.
me go fat :S..seriously!annoying!everyday after work also super exhausting edi..no wonder those working ppl's shanchoi so easy go out of shape..sigh..me dunwan be like them sad ppl!me must discipline!sigh..hard work me tell u..hard work :(

me no life
me work
work boring, cant read newspaper..me become facebook addict instead..one day facebook down for 5 hours..i almost had panic attack..macam mau mati tau!..see how sad me life is?

me got life
me church
me church had LOUD! 09..it was great..me speechless..me helped out here n there..in the end it was good..though Chi yao hurt his legs and didnt get to watch LOUD!09:(..pray that itll heal quick quick!
me CG making me proud..me cant wait to see them lead other lives :)

me got life
me met up with friends from far far away land..
so the happiness :)
miss u all loads loads and loads..

yeap..so the keep the score..this 3 months has been bitter sweet..lotsa nice things happened..lotsa not so nice things happens..and a few suprises..good ones bad ones..cant keep count on them all..

well..2009 has entered august..lets hope it starts well and ends well..it hasnt been easy..so God, help me!!

**ends**

I'm busy

busy..enjoying my holidays~~

therefore..pls do disturb :P

abit tired today so ill update more soon :) but here's a sneak peak into my life

thats all!! omm-noom-noom :P

13042009

I'm FREE baby!!FREE, at least from thesis for now!!hahaha

i cant begin to tell you how crazy it was..but it might cast bad impression so i won't tell XD, ...or i will..haha..basically its about last minute cramping and my dark side creeping up on me and i really had a part time in doing this thesis, to just start something was really painful..so many times i lied on my bed and have no idea what is happening..well, mayb some of you peps go through it as well but for me it was darn real..

my shoulder was soo stiff that it was painful, my eye was watering and i was staring at screen, just stoning..hours of flipping books and googling..mayb that IS thesis..it is what we are suppose to go through..hehe..it was BAD!!

well..since i indulge in psychology so much, i shall use some of its jargons to describe myself right now..my face is like scatterplots for pimples right now..Pearson's R of Time(day) and No. of Pimple is definately positive and STEEP..i have at least one stress pimple everyday, sometimes two..so now my face have lotsa them..

however, sleep and time(days) was pretty much pearson's R=0..cos i sleep every 3 hours for about half and hour just to get going..it was that crazy..then food intake increased..i eat every 2 hours..munch munch munch tiger biscuit..now i abit scared of it edi... :(..no more tiger for me after this..

sigh..but i think i did my best..really..i crosschecked it a few times, making sure every step i take is stable..it was my level best..if it doesnt get good grades, i'd take time to learn from the masters.. :P..

but that aside..now its the time to study!! exams on saturday and thesis defence on next thurs..and then, ill truly be free.. :)